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Saw The Avengers with the girlfriend last week. She moaned when Chris Hemsworth’s name came on screen. Now it’s a Thor subject with me.

They say there are two sides to every story. What if it’s a story about a menage a trois?

I’m having a treat. A lollipop called Man Bait. It is Maple Bacon flavored. http://t.co/7vLmRcJv

Anyone want to take a road trip to Denever? http://t.co/VTzoF6Jk

I find it funny that on the blueprints for a McDonalds they call the back area the kitchen.

Almost had to go to the emergency room for dehydration. I nearly ate the desiccant packet in my beef jerky bag. #eatingwhilegaming

Time to bitch about another stupid person…me. Just spent 20 mins looking for drivers on Dell’s site….for a new HP computer. #fail

Just downloaded Free EP from Fitz and The Tantrums – http://t.co/ygIQig4D via @fitzandtantrums

To the person who keeps stealing shit from my car. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Hey nose-picking, booger-eating guy behind me at the red light… windshields are not made from one way glass.

Happy NOID! See you outside……http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=May%208

Double date night. Not 2 couples, 2 girls! I have a date with the girlfriend AND the neighbor girl tonight. What is the opposide of FML? =)

I feel that naming the child care center @ Memorial Hosp ‘Memorial Kids Kare’ is going to result in children that can’t spell the word care.

Rainy days and Mondays…..

Made my chocolate mousse last night. My neighbor calls it a panty dropper. :-) http://t.co/Tcrzr0QS

Dear Coworker…it’s 3pm and you are STILL bitching about not being awake because you didn’t get your morning coffee? #getoveritalready

Can anyone recommend a hookah retail store in the Springs? I’m looking for a place with a large selection of hookahs and gear. #hookah

Wrote a joke today. Where do salads go after a long day at work? A salad bar! I think my future in writing 4 Bazooka gum wrappers is a lock!

After a lot of thinking it over, I’ve decided “My noodle would like to keep YOU company” is not a good pickup line to use at Noodles & CO.

I’ve been so happy lately! Does anyone want my Adele CDs? I don’t need them anymore. =)